wasteofpaint198's Friends

Likewise
I've been home for the holidays for less than a week and already I'm bored with "home." I don't have a car anymore and my mom has forbidden me from borrowing my old car (my Focus) because she's certain I'm going to get into an accident and wreck it. Being without a car is horrid and I'm a prisoner in my parents house. At least in Mount Pleasant I can walk anywhere I need to go, and my furthest friend is but a few blocks away. Here I can't hang out with anyone unless I have a car or they come and pick me up.

I haven't given up on my vlog idea, though it seems like I have. It was such a hassle to upload the videos to the internet and post them in here, so instead I just save them in a folder on my computer. Also, if I post them online there's a ten minute limit and I can never keep my vlogs under ten minutes. Apparently I can ramble on and on, venting all of my troubles and relaying the details of my days to my laptop for hours upon hours. My longest (and most cherished) vlog is 172 minutes long and includes a two hour phone call between Pat and myself. He doesn't know this exists.. hopefully he'll never find out.

(Edit: That last sentence really makes it seem like I have no life.)

That would be embarrassing. This is why I feel so uncomfortable when people use my computer. Because if they know me well enough to ask to use my laptop then they're most certainly mentioned in one of my vlogs and I KNOW everyone, when using a friend's computer, sneaks around and looks at the contents of all their folders. At least that's what I do. I should really rename my vlogs folder from "Journal Entries" to "Very Very Boring Folder Not Worth Opening".

Anyway, even though I've been recording vlogs every day I feel the need to write in here again for some reason. I miss this old thing and I wish I were a good enough writer to make it interesting and good.

Leah had her baby, whose name is Corinne and who is now almost two months old. Tomania is so big too and she says things like, "See you on the flip-side!" and, "I want to watch Michael Jackson Music videos!" After three years it's finally hitting me: I'm an aunt. I also realized recently that I have "old friends." Only adults have "old friends!" Oy ve.

Christmas was pretty good this year, I made all the presents I gave to people which is actually a lot of fucking work. I knitted scarves and burned mixed CDs, though I admit it was pretty half-assed this year. In high school when I burned someone a mixed CD I was so envious of them and I even kind of resented them for getting such an amazing gift. I would spend WEEKS choosing the perfect playlist for that individual person, and then hours would be dedicated to organizing the songs in the perfect order to that they'd flow. Then there was the CD case: I'd make little booklets with pages of handwritten notes, and pop-up pictures, and pull tabs, and pasted dried flowers, and tiny, sketches, and paintings, and lyrics, and the importance of each track. Man, I'm an awesome friend..

This year wasn't that special though. Everyone got the same mix, no matter their musical taste or our personal history. No CD case. No pictures. No letters. How boring.

Sometimes I wonder if I take life too seriously. Lady Gaga makes me want to dance and be slutty and I wonder why I ever let myself wallow in self-pity or numbing depression for so many months of my life. Dancing is great. Not just Lady GaGa dancing, but all dancing. Beach Boys dancing, and Black Lips dancing, and Beatles dancing (and other bands that don't begin with a B dancing). But I'll change my attitude soon enough, I'm sure.

Which reminds me: Does anyone else think the traffic at intersections is like a really beautiful dance?

Life is good lately, I'm happy.

Oh yeah, I didn't fail any of my classes this semester, but I'm never taking eight classes at once again. I almost had a severe nervous breakdown multiple times. My mom had to mail me care packages full of Xanax.

Tea and I might take a ballroom dancing class together this semester!

Lately I've noticed that I'm constantly too distracted to focus my attention on just one thing. I haven't been concentrating on writing in here at all. I keep going to other websites, and texting on my cell phone, and walking into other rooms, and making snacks.. Sorry it's so choppy and awfully-written. I need to try to focus all my attention and energy on one thing at a time from now on.

Maybe I should start doing yoga again.

Arlo and Nikolai are growing up so fast and turning into cats. I have to get their furry little testicles cut off soon. Isn't it weird that I'm allowed to do that to them? I don't want to but I must! Poor little guys.

See you on the flip-side!

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: The Smiths

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